dennys:

Summer is just around the corner! Which means you’re probably fervently preparing for ~bikini season~, trying to get back into that beach bod! Well here are some dieting tips from Denny’s Diner to help you feel a little more comfortable this year:

  • Bikini season? Shmikini shmeason.
  • You look wonderful already.

activatedcarbon:

The year is 2743.  Society as we know it has collapsed.  We have seen the machines take over and experience their own downfall.  There are no more countries.  There are no more governments.   Resources are at a dangerous low.  Many have left the Earth in search of a new planet to inhabit.  Only one thing is certain:  There is a Java Update available.

xusedtoberussianx:

aspecialprovidence:

{That bitch made me so mad… I swear… It’s not that hard to be polite to someone, even if you’re not interested in them on a romantic level. UGgggg you guys have no idea how passionate I am about that.

I’D TAKE SOME POPCORN FROM YOU LITTLE STEVE

#this #sit the fuck down I’m about to give you some frickity fracking life advice #don’t be a cunt. # you never know who’ s gonna turn into a star-spangled sex god. 

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

octemberfirst:

abqandnotu:

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR” 

barackobotm:

omgcatasaurus:

barackobotm:

PEOPLE WITH PRETTY EYES UPSET ME SO MUCH, LIKE UR EYES ARE SO FUCKING GORGEOUS AND SPARKLY AND THEY HAVE A NICE COLOR, AND THEN MINE ARE JUST THIS REALLY DARK BROWN 

Your eyes are just like brownies and brownies are goopy and delicious so that means your eyes are delicious aswell, who needs sparkles

pls dont eat my eyes 

barackobotm:

omgcatasaurus:

barackobotm:

PEOPLE WITH PRETTY EYES UPSET ME SO MUCH, LIKE UR EYES ARE SO FUCKING GORGEOUS AND SPARKLY AND THEY HAVE A NICE COLOR, AND THEN MINE ARE JUST THIS REALLY DARK BROWN 

Your eyes are just like brownies and brownies are goopy and delicious so that means your eyes are delicious aswell, who needs sparkles

pls dont eat my eyes 

slenderlock:

madame-vashtranerada:

theeleventhsherlock:

Coulson, looking flustered by Steve’s patriotic bottom

is coulson in a suit 

it’s his casual suit

megablaziken:

I went to the Met today

trehugger:

today in history class this kid said something about how women belong in the kitchen and my teacher freaked out and he made all the girls in the class write down “at 1:04pm on wednesday november 7th 2012, nick has been blacklisted” and now we’re not allowed to talk to the kid until he comes into class with the 17 apology letters that he’s being forced to write to every girl in the class

i love my history teacher