burgrs:

if you cant handle me at my worst then leave because i dont have a best im always awful

metidation:

r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???

allthingshyper:

suncross:

punned:

i get bloody noses a lot and i can usually feel it about 30 seconds before it starts dripping. today in class my nose started to bleed. but right before, I turned to this very religious boy who sits next to me and whispered “hail satan” as my nose started to drip. he freaked and fell back and hit his head. he had to go home for the rest of the day.

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chasmofsarcasm:

how to tell if someone is really bisexual:

  • if a true bisexual utters their name backwards, it will send them back to their home dimension for a minimum of 90 days.
  • fire type bisexuals will always be able to learn the move solarbeam, unless they are flareon.
ACTUALLY FUCK THAT I AM MY OWN FAVORITE N I DONT NEED SOMEONE TO VALIDATE ME IM FUCKING AWESOME ALL ON MY OWN AND SO R ALL YALL

h0llaween:

yea dude I drink a lot. Drink at parties all the time. yea you heard right, 9 capri suns. 9. in 45 minuets.

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.